Jealousy is a source of suffering both for the person who pays for it and for the person who manifests it. Nobody wants to declare themselves jealous. And many people prefer to ignore the consequences of their behavior. However, recognizing jealousy allows you to know yourself better.
Here are some tips on how to deal with jealousy.
1.
Acknowledge the feeling of jealousy
You have seen it: jealousy is a source of repetitive mess in relationships and a suffering that motivates people to free themselves from it. To know how to manage it, it is important to:
perceive his emotions and identify the message;
feeling without giving in to the immediate reaction;
to distinguish between what is an automatic thought and reality.
Differentiate the jealousy of love
Produced by an emotion linked to the instinct to protect territory and possession, jealousy is a dominant feeling as strong as the feeling of love.
By signaling an interest, a desire, jealousy merges with love; however, it is not a benevolent feeling.
Jealousy uglies more than it flourishes.
Watch your reaction
To prevent jealousy from dominating your life if you let it develop, make it a daily focus: when an emotion overwhelms you, let it come and watch what's going on inside you.
It can give you an intense feeling of suffering or hatred, felt on a physical level.
The sensation can also be imperceptible, and only induce ideas that will guide your behavior and motivations.
Postpone your reaction
Systematically allowing a little time to pass between the manifestation of the emotion and your need to express yourself helps to clarify the content of your impulses:
Is it a happy feeling, with the desire to be generous, to protect, to pamper, to share, as in love?
Or do you feel the need to protect yourself or attack to defend yourself? Are you hateful, frustrated or panicky, like jealousy?
Accept it
With careful practice, it will become easier and easier for you to identify your emotions, detect impulses and delay your reaction. If jealousy is the source of your emotions and impulses, you will gradually make the distinction between automatism and reflection by adopting this principle: first observe, always check.
It is by accepting what it is that you know what is to be managed.
2.
Identify the type of jealousy to which you are subject
There are three main categories of jealousy: that which is justified, that which is but artificially provoked, and finally unfounded jealousy.
Jealousy justified
You think you are sharing exclusive intimacy with someone, but you discover another reality: you are mistaken or you are mistaken. Your concern is normal.
Your effort is to not succumb to the effect of mental deterioration that jealousy involves. You then have the choice between posing the problem or fueling the drama.
Take some distance.
Analyze how and why this situation arises in your life against all odds.
3.
Discern the jealousy of pride and envy
Drivers of resentment, pride and envy lead to decisions and behaviors that seem to be jealous. However, it is not the same motivation.
This type of feeling is linked to a competitive trait, a temperament, or seeks to compensate for a narcissistic flaw.
The motivation is to seize the assets of the other: search for power, domination by appropriation, enslavement by terror, weakening of the other to strengthen oneself.
One example among many is to accuse the spouse of infidelity, with no other basis than the need to harm or destroy him.
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